Birthday Jokes

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Birthday Jokes

The number one cause of death is too many birthdays.

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Q: Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? A: Because people kept toasting him!

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Having a birthday is a lot better than not having one.

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Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? In a cat-alogue!

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From a certain age, birthdays are like a reverse countdown.

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I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

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When you're told to act your own age, and you die.

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The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

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A friend never defends a husband
who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

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Thanks to Facebook,
I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.

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Some like sunday some like monday
but i like your birthday
happy birthday my sweetheart

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I remember when the candle shop burned down.
Everyone stood around singing�Happy Birthday.

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Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing.
I told my computer that today is my birthday,
and it said I needed an upgrade

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You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake...
You still chase women, but only downhill.

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Rock stars used to say, "Don't trust anyone over 30!"
Now that many are over 50 they say, "Oops, we didn't mean us.

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If there are 23 people in a room, there's a 50% chance that
two of them will share a birthday.
It's been proven mathematically.

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On the morning of her birthday,
he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park.
He put her on every ride in the park � the Death Slide,
The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear.

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With my wife I don't get no respect.
I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.'
The waiter joined me.

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�When's your birthday?' �Ninth of December.' �Which year?' �Every year.'

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Q. What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
A. Angel food cake!

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He always remembers his wife's birthday. It's the day after she reminds him of it.

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Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday �
so we're having you put to sleep.

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Darth Vader, to Luke Skywalker: �I know what you're getting for your birthday, Luke.
I have felt your presents.'

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Forget about the past, you can't change it.
Forget about the future, you can't predict it.
Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.

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Dad :
Son, What Do You Want For Your Birthday?
Son :
Not Much Dad,
Just A Radio
With A Sports Car Around It...

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This msg has No Fat

No cholesterol n No Addictive

this is all natural except, with a lot of sugar.
But it can never be as sweet as the one reading it. Happy Birthday

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A fantastic question with a meaningful answer:-

Define BIRTHDAY ?

The only day in your life, when you cried and that made your mom HAPPY.

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Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.
Next time, take off the candles.

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The only assured gift that every one of us gets on our birthday is another year.

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A man asked his wife,:
What would you most like for your birthday?
She said:
I would love to be ten again.

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What goes up and never comes down?
Your age.

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You can't help getting older, but u don't have to get old.

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Brunette: When's ur Birthday?
blonde: June 23rd. What About U?
brunette: December 25.
blonde: Oh My God Your So Lucky Your Birthday Is On Easter!

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Man1:'' I Got My Wife A Vcp''
man2:''don't u Mean A Vcr"?
man1:"no, A Vcp..... Very Cheap Present!

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Chris: Do u like the dictionary I bought you 4 your birthday?.
Kevin: Sure. It's a great present but I just can't find the words to thank u enough.

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The only assured gift that every one of us gets on our birthday iz another year.

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Birthdays are good 4 you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

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I'm not a pheasant plucker
I'm a pheasant pluckers son.
& I'm only plucking pleasants
till the pheasant plucker comes.

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Let the GOD decorate each GOLDEN RAY
OF THE SUN reaching u with wishes of Success
Happiness & prosperity 4 U
Wish u a super duper Happy Birthday.

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Life is like a coin
Pleasure and pain are the two sides,
Only one side is visible at time,
But remember
other side also waiting 4 its turn

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~Words by broken heart~
Please do not turn back
&
face me one more time.
Bcoz,
I don't have one more heart
to lose wid ur smile..

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You r the most special person in my life.
You r my friend, philosopher, guide and lot more.
Thanks 4 being there always!
Happy Birthday

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Wishing u life soft as silk
White as Milk as honey full of
money may all ur dreams comes
true and this wish is only 4 you
Happy Birthday

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Q: What do u give 900-pound gorilla for his birthday?
A: I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it..

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Blowing out candles is good exercise 4 the lungs.

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When I was a child my family were so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.

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Birthdays r nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.

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Age is something that doesn't matter, unless u are a cheese.

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There is no cure for birth & death save to enjoy the interval.

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May you live to be 100 & may the last voice u hear be mine.

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For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure 4 the common birthday.

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Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

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One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. A woman who would tell 1 that would tell anything.

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Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? A: They were all born on holidays.

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Q: "Were any famous men born on your birthday?" A: "No, only little babies."

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Thank you for your birthday wishes on Facebook. Who are you by the way?

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Birthday Jokes , funny birthday jokes, happy birthday sms jokes, rude birthday party jokes

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