Christmas Jokes

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Christmas Jokes

What did the sea Say to Santa? Nothing! It just waved!

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Q: Why is Christmas just like your job? A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

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What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we'll go places!

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Q. Where does a snowman keep his money? A. In a snow bank.

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Q. What do Santa's elves learn in school? A. The Elfabet.

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Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can 'ho ho ho'!

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How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!

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Why can't the Christmas tree stand up? It doesn't have legs.

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Sending letters to Santa up the chimney is definitely black mail.

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What did Santa say to the smoker? Please don't smoke, it's bad for my elf!

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How do snowmen greet each other?
Answer: Ice to meet you!

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How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
Answer: "A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year!"

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Why the Christmas tree can't stand up?
Answer: It doesn't have legs.

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Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

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What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.

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Santa: "So little girl, what would you like for Christmas?"Girl: "I want a Barbie Doll and a G.I. Joe."

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-Knock knock
*Who's there?
-Mary!
*Mary who?
-Merry Christmas

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The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.
He flicked it on.
"It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates,"
Saint Peter said.

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What's the difference between a biscuit and a reindeer?
You can't dunk a reindeer in your tea

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On the following evening the young man knocked his colleagues door and found him pacing up and down the hallway in an impatient manner.

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"The proper behaviour all through the holiday season is to be drunk.
This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to."

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What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve ?They go into town, and blow a few bucks.

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Christmas is less than two weeks away. I do most of my shopping online.
But I hire someone to honk and scream obscenities at me while I'm doing it so I get the whole holiday shopping experience.

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What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas one has no L |

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"I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected.
While I'm dreaming, I wish you weren't so damn ugly."

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What is the best Christmas present in the world? � A broken drum - you can't beat it!

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Christmas shopping is awesome,
Only when it is for you.?

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Christmas is one day when girls get to kiss boys To wish them without being called a slut.

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With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the boy measured out the tinsel,
wrapped up the garland, and gave it to Jennifer

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Christmas Jokes, funny christmas jokes, rude clean christmas jokes, short hilarious christmas jokes

Now we take care all your needs. We do the research online for you and provide you best sms text messages at one place. We keep updating our site regularly for Christmas Jokes. We are sure that you will recommend this site to your friends if you like our database of sms messages of Christmas Jokes. Please keep visiting this site again and again for Christmas Jokes. Why is it so important to tell jokes for laughs at Christmas. Although Christmas is a known time for telling jokes, it is also a time when you could offend with your humour. Keep jokes clean and funny and especially more so if kiddies are around. Let the joker take centre stage and start cracking Christmas Jokes. Christmas jokes are a good ice breaker especially if the air is a little tense.

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Christmas Jokes

Christmas Jokes

Christmas Jokes, funny christmas jokes, rude clean christmas jokes, short hilarious christmas jokes

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