Naughty Poems, naughty love poems, naughty birthday poems

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Naughty Poems

Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad, I'll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.

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I've hunted near, I've hunted far I even looked inside my car. I've lost my glasses, I'm in need, To have them now so I can read. I loudly swear and I curse Did I leave them in my purse? Are they behind the sofa, under the bed? Oh there they are - on my head!

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Scrawled equations on the chalkboard, Teacher's talking as she writes. But I'm not paying attention, Under bright fluorescent lights. I Pythagoras with the best of them, Fibonacci 'till I'm blue. I'm at home with Euclid's theorems, And with Turing I just flew. I'm at one with Aristotle, I can prove the whats and whys. But it's warm and I feel sleepy, As my mind just dreams of Pie!

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One dark day in the middle of the night, Two old boys got up to fight. Back-to-back they faced each other, Drew their swords, and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise, Came right out and got those boys. If you don't believe this lie is true, Ask the blind man, because he saw it too.

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Row row row your boat
Gently down the stream
Tip your teacher overboard
And listen to her scream

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It's the cookies in the cookie jar
I want that which makes me feel naughty,like I'm doing something wrong
A sudden thrust of lustful pleasure,then quietly placing the cap back on the glass
Now something is gone that was there before and I have won
Lets see how many times this game can be played before someone gets hurt...

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There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who remarked to his girl,You're a tight one.
She replied, "Don my soul,
You're in the wrong hole
There's plenty of room in the right one.

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I beg of you
with haunted heart
Touch me with your
tender hands
Carress me with your mind
Feel the sweet
T
E
M
P
T
A
T
I
O
N
To leave the rest behind
Crooked smiles
brilliant grins
to touch me down
where no one does
I beg of you
with dripping lips

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Women's tennis is more complicated to watch,
because in every shot,
three balls bounce & u are in confusion,
Which ball to see!

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Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.

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The first time we met, I could see,
That you and I, were meant to be.
Your eyes were so gentle, your smile so true,
When you first held my hand, I just knew.

Now the time has gone by, through laughter and tears,
These days I shall cherish, for years upon years.
Those memories we have, shall never fade,
For those are the steps, that we have made.

That was the past, the future is near,
I anxiously wait, for what will appear.
New homes, more laughter, and children so dear,
Everything will be wonderful, as long as you're near.

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A special world for you and me.
A special bond one cannot see.
It wraps us up in its cocoon.
And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold.
Gently nestling us to the fold.
Like silken thread it holds us fast.
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break.
A new one forms in its wake.
To bind us closer and keep us strong.
In a special world, where we belong .

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She whispered 'will it hurt me?
'Of course not' answered he.
'It's a very simple process,
You can rely on me.

She said 'I'm very frightened,
I've not had this before.
My friend has had it five times.
And said it can be sore.

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Guys are like parking spots...
the good ones are always taken...
and the ones that are available,
are either handicapped or too far away!

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Kissing is a habit
Kissing is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says i love you
You believe its true

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As he slowly stroke my breast wit his hand
I lift his face off my neck and tell him to do it again
So he start to kiss and suck on one of my chest
I told him to move over to the otha breast

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The pure and undeniable extacy.
That has taken over your inner being
Me touching you, you caressing me
Yeah I see. ummm humm I can feel it too

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So long to you my love
Don't be afraid to run away
I know you'll be okay.... Just take your time to find
I really, really need you here tonight...

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The sky was dark
the moon was high
all alone just her and I
Her hair so soft
her eyes so blue
I knew just what she wanted to do

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Now if u read this carefully
The dentist u will find
Is not what u imagined
It's just ur dirty mind

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Oh Father. Oh, Father. I have come 2 confess.
I have just left a girl in a terrible mess.
Her blouse is al tattered, her t*ts are all bare,
There's a lump in her belly that shouldn't be there.

Oh, son. Oh, son. With u I invex.
When I was ur age, I used a Durex.

Oh, Father, Oh, Father. Don't be unjust.
I used one too, but the f--king thing bust!

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Tension is when wife is pregnant. Terror is when girlfriend is pregnant Horror is when both are pregnant Tragedy is when you are not responsible for both.

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