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Funny Christmas Quotes

Christmas is a time of fun and entertainment and this event brings lots of happiness for us. Now the time is coming again and if you are thinking how you should wish your dear ones this year so, we are recommending you here best and unique collection of funny Christmas quotes. These quotes will attract your dear ones and make them happy. Just stay in touch with us and get through us best collection of funny Christmas quotes and Christmas jokes. Our collection will inspire you and it will as well make you happy and glad. If you want Funny Christmas Quotes then you have to stop your search here. allbestmessages.co is all about Funny Christmas Quotes. Just read our new collection of Funny Christmas Quotes.

Funny Christmas Quotes

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.

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I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can't wait to exchange.

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Its not funny i said no rocks in the snowballs

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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

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What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

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What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic

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Dear Santa, I've been good this year, OK, most of the time, Once in a while, OK fine. I'll go buy my own presents.

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Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."

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Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? A. Nothing, it was "on the house!"

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I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me "Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace" So I bought her nothing.

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Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.

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There's something about Christmas that's magical. Money just seems to disappear into thin air.

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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

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Christmas is so much worse as you get older. It's like "What do you want this year?" IDK. Financial security? A career? A sense of purpose? A nap would be nice.

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Santa claus has the right idea ... visit people once a year.

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Rudolph has a red nose because he is drunk.

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Holidays are exhausting. Ho Ho! Keep calm and enjoy Christmas!

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At Christmas our house is like a Donnie and Marie Christmas Special.

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When you stop bleieving in santa you start receiving Underware.

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Christmas is mostly for children. But adults enjoy it too.

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Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

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Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.

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Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.

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Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.

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Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.

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Thanks for agreeing not to buy each other anything for Christmas and then
making me feel guilty by buying something anyway.

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I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready.

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When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!

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You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.

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Christmas shopping. Never an easy or a pleasant task.

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Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.

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Hey Santa, how much for your list of naughty girls?

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There has been only one Christmas the rest are anniversaries.

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You know you are getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

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A wakeup call about the Gift Card Industry and how much money goes to waste each year.

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I wish you could put up some of da Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month..

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Isn't it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for - I don't know what exactly,
but it's something that you don't mind so much not having at other times

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I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store,
and he asked for my autograph

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Christmas is a race to see which gives out 1st your money are your feet.

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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white man would be coming in to my neighborhood after dark.

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A Christmas shopper's complaint is one of long-standing.

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I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not b a child.

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Christmas is a time wen you get homesick - even when yoy are home.

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A lovely thing about Christmas is that its compulsory,
like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

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Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you some thing to eat?
Drive you out in the middle of nowhere and leave you for the dead?

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Santa Claus wears a Red Suit,
He must be a communist and a beard and long hair,
Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?

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From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.

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"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six.
Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."

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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

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Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

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"Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live."

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Funny Christmas Quotes

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