Funny Quotes About Life

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Funny Quotes About Life

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor.

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You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

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Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

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You're only as good as your last haircut.

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I am still waiting for the day I'll use MATHEMATICS integration in real Life.

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Life is hard, after all, it kills you.

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Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

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He who has a why to live can bear almost any how

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Life is like a roll of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment.

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Want is a growing giant whom the coat of Have was never large enough to cover.

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My feelings for you are like the sea.Wild and romantic ? No,they make me sick. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

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I hope I didn't brain my damage.

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It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat.

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All generalizations are false, including this one.

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Hope life is not a big joke, because I do not get it.

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The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive.

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Life is short. Have a bit of patience..

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A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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I was born to live, not please everyone.

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I like life. It's something to do.

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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

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It is the inner strength not to stagnate or grow resistant to change but to stay open to new possibilities.

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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it

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Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.

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Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

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If there is something you must do and you cannot do it, you cannot do anything else.

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A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist.

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Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.

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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.

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There are lots of situations in life we regard as funny, just as long as they are happening to someone else.

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Smile, tomorrow will be worse.

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When I'm right, no one remembers, when I'm wrong, no one forgets.

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We never really grow up. We just learn how to act in public.

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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

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Life is just a phase you're going through...you'll get over it.

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Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there,
you must first see inside of you.

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There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them.

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Life is a zoo in a jungle.

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Courage is the discovery that you may not win and trying when you know you can lose.

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Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

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I know that you believe you understand what you think I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

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There's no half singing in the shower you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

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I never think of the future it comes soon enough.

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Dont take life to seriously. No one gets out alive.

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Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.

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Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination.

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Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

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You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

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You can't have everything....where would you put it?

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Life is as tedious as a twice told tale.

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An autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived.

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If we can't be free, we at least can be cheap.

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In my search for perfection, I found lots of flaws that I kind of liked.

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My Mothers MENU had only two items: 1: Eat it or 2: Leave it.

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If your legs open up faster than Google's homepage. You are not girlfriend material.

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