Funny Quotes Phrases

If you want Funny Quotes Phrases then you have to stop your search here. allbestmessages.co is all about Funny Quotes Phrases. Just read our new collection of Funny Quotes Phrases.

Funny Quotes Phrases

I am not lazy, I am on energy saving mode.

*****************

Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.

*****************

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

*****************

My life feels like a test I didn't study for.

*****************

If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

*****************

My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.

*****************

I bought one of those tapes to teach you Spanish in your sleep. During the night, the tape skipped. Now I can only stutter in Spanish

*****************

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience ... well, that comes from poor judgment.

*****************

The evening news is where they start by saying �good evening', and proceed by telling you why it's not.

*****************

I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.

*****************

He who laughs last didn't get it.

*****************

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

*****************

You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

*****************

Real Eyes. Realize. Real Lies.

*****************

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you.

*****************

Love � is an extreme sympathy that leads to bed.

*****************

Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal.

*****************

A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.

*****************

You're my favorite thing to do.

*****************

Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.

*****************

Girls are like phones We love to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

*****************

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.

*****************

If you wish to live wisely ignore sayings including this one.

*****************

Caution, Blind Man Driving.

**************

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

**************

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

**************

I never criticize referees and I'm not going to change a habit for that part.

**************

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film!

**************

If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie.

**************

Consciousness- that annoying time between naps.

**************

It takes 42 muscels to smile, so instead pick up your middle finger and say bite me in a bitchy tone!

**************

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

**************

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...

**************

Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.

**************

Borrow money from pessimists they don't expect it back.

**************

Thank you for not annoying me more than you do.

**************

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.

**************

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

**************

Always laugh when you can.It is cheapest medicine.

**************

Thank you for not annoying me more than you do.

**************

Love is like a booger.You keep picking at it until you get it then wonder what to do with it.

**************

Crazy is a relative term in my family.

**************

Brigands demand your money or your life women require both.

**************

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

**************

Men chocolate and coffee are all better rich.

**************

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

**************

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

**************

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.

**************

I never criticise referees and i'm not going to change a habit for that prat..

**************

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film!

**************

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage..

**************

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand..

**************

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on..

**************

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane..

**************

What will you do when you leave football, Jack, will you stay in football..

**************

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking..

**************

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

**************

"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. "

**************

A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.

**************

Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

**************

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

**************

Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious..

**************

If you want me to stop being a smartass, just stop being such a dumbass.

**************

Crying is not necessarily a sign of weak character. Sometimes it is a sign of strong onions.

**************

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, struggle missing a couple of payments.

**************

Funny Quotes Phrases , Witty Funny Quotes Phrases, Short Funny Quotes and Phrases

Now allbestmessages.co take care all your needs for quotes. Our research team do research and collect best quotes at one place. We keep updating our site All Best Messages regularly for Funny Quotes Phrases. Pleasel recommend this site to your friends if you like allbestmessages collection of Funny Quotes Phrases. Please bookmark allbestmessages and keep visiting again and again for best quotes.
Cute Funny Quotes
Funny Life Quotes
Funny Quotes About Life
Funny Retirement Quotes
Funny Stupid Quotes
Funny Sayings
Funny Teenage Quotes
Funny Quotes Phrases
Funny Movie Quotes
Funny Famous Quotes
Very Funny Quotes

Sms Categories

Funny Quotes Phrases

Funny Quotes Phrases

Funny Quotes Phrases , Witty Funny Quotes Phrases, Short Funny Quotes and Phrases

Quotes Collection

SMS Of The Day

Email:

Poems Collection