Funny Retirement Quotes

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Funny Retirement Quotes

Retirement is when you can sit back and dole out advice to people, even if you never heeded it in your own life! Congratulations.

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Everybody here will miss doing all your work for you. Have a happy retirement!

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What I wish for you as you retire is good health. May you be heart attack free as you grow fat just lazing around. Have a good retirement.

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Now you get a new boss who knows about your true work ethic, organizational skills, and excuses. Spouses make the toughest bosses. Good luck!

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Retirement is like a lifelong vacation, except that you are no longer fit to do most of the fun stuff. Congratulations.

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What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Retired.

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Result for many Americans When They Punch in Their Data into a Retirement Calculator: "According to your latest data if you retire today, you can live reasonably well until 5 p.m. tomorrow."

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There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

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Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.

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Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life. Congratulations.

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After retirement the body grows older.

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If you are going to go broke before retirement, retire first.

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Congratulations for stepping into this league, old timer.

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Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did

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Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt; doesn't work.

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When you quit working just before your heart does.

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God has a plan for your retirement.

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Retirement is like a bubble that burst just when you think you are at the zenith of your career.

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There is life after retirement, and it is BETTER.

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Retirement marks the transition from working under one boss to a new one called WIFE.

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The question isn't at what age I want to retire it's at what income.

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The money is no better in retirement but the hours are!

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It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

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When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.

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A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age.

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I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy

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I've lit the blue touch paper and found there's nowhere to retire to.

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The great thing about show business is that there's no mandatory retirement age.

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One of the problems of retirement is that it gives you more time to read about the problems of retirement.

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Nothing ever comes out as planned.

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If you have the time, you won't have the money. If you have the money, you won't have the time.

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When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.

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When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.

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At my age flowers scare me.

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The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.

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Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to.

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Everyone who does not work has a scheme that does.

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He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement.

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Retired is being tired twice I've thought first tired of working then tired of not.

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Retirement life seen it all done it all Can't remember most of it.

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When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house you know you are retired.

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When you retire you switch bosses from the one who hired you to the one who married you.

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Retirement at sixty five is ridiculous. When I was sixty five I still had pimples.

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Stay busy If you are going to sit on the couch and watch TV you are going to die.

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When you retire you switch bosses from the one who hired you to the one who married you.

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The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does.

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Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to.

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Retirement is when the living is easy and the payments are hard.

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A retired husband is often a wife's full time job.

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The worst thing about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time.

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When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house you know you are retired.

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The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

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I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work,So I do it three or four times a day

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A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

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Retired is being twice tired, I've thought - First tired of working, Then tired of not.

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Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home � forever."

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Retirement is that marvelous time of life when the sun rises and you don't.

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He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement.

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A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job -

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Funny Retirement Quotes , Retirement Quotations Funny, Funny Quotes On Retirement By Famous People For Teacher

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