Funny Stupid Quotes

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Funny Stupid Quotes

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing

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At all the weddings, my aunts would come up and poke me in the ribs, cackling 'You're next'! They stopped after I started doing the same thing at funerals.

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You can have as many friends that money can buy, but I'll still hate you for free.

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When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.

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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

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I asked Mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

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My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems.

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people say you cannot live without love, well, oxygen is more important.

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I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger.. Then it hit me.

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Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

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Love is being stupid together.

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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

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I never apologize. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.

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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

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I'll take crazy over stupid any day.

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Life is tough, but it's tougher if you're stupid.

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Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

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Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far.

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I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

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To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.

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They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

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Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

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Outside of a dog a book is a man's best friend Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

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Being stupid is its own reward

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He who hesitates is probably right.

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Your earrings would make a great fishing lure

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Two wrongs are only the beginning.

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The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others.

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A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

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I cannot tell you how grateful I am I am filled with humidity.

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The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others.

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Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.

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Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don't compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.

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I have started smiling! I've mastered this smirk, it's a smile that isn't a smile.

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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

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I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.

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I always wanted to be a hairdresser.

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Please provide the date of your death.

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A lot of beautiful people are stupid.There's a tremendous amount of idiots who look so good.It's frightening.

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Outside of a dog a book is a man's best friend.Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

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Someone should stab you in the eye with a really hot french fry.

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It's so simple to be wise.Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

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If love is blind why is lingerie so popular?

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Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.

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Ignorance is not bliss. Bliss is ignorance of one's ignorance.

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Please provide the date of your death.

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Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

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Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

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I say no to drugs, but they don't listen.

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I love defenseless animals, especially in gravy.

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I say no to drugs, but they don't listen.

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"Cheaters aren't cheaters, they are just high risk players."

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"My second hit was a flop."

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"Money is like a sixth sense - and you can't make use of the other five without it."

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"Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education."

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Every man needs a Honey who is not after his Money.

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Sometimes you just need your space, so you can figure out how you fit into someone else's.

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Dreams are free.....it's making them come true that costs so much.

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