Funny Graduation Quotes

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Funny Graduation Quotes

If at first you don't succeed, try to hide your astonishment.

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I'd like to apply for a refund on my college education

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In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

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Remember, when it come to applying for jobs, books ARE judged by their cover!

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A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.

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TO THOSE OF YOU WHO RECEIVED HONORS, AWARDS AND DISTINCTIONS, I SAY WELL DONE. AND TO THE �C' STUDENTS, I SAY YOU TOO MAY ONE DAY BE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

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Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

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When they hand you your diploma, keep moving. Just in case they try to take it back.

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Graduation a ritual event where they award you a diploma, in the hope that you have learned enough to be able to read it.

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I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes � which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.

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Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself.

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There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.

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You will find the key to success under the alarm clock.

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You need a soulmate, not a cellmate.

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The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.

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Even though you're now highly educated don't dismiss the advantage of dressing a little slutty for job interviews.

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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

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Education is a progressive discovery of your own ignorance.

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The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

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One thing about the school of experience is that it will repeat the lesson if you flunk the first time.

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You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

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Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

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It was only when I finished the course and left my graduation diploma on the bus that I realized I'd become an actor.

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My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

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The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.

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A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.

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It was only when I finished the course and left my graduation diploma on the bus that I realized I'd become an actor.

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I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

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A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.

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At commencement you wear your square-shaped mortarboards. My hope is that from time to time you will let your minds be bold, and wear sombreros.

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Graduation is a tough day for parents. They go to the ceremony as parents. They go home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years, they are unemployed.

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High School is a lot like toilet paper, you only miss it when its gone.

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In the first place God made idiots, that was for practice, then he made school boards.

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The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

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You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

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If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

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Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.

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If you can find a path with no obstacles,it probably doesn't lead anywhere.

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The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

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I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today.

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A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

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I found a stick in the bush!

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You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

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All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.

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There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

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The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future.

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"Yes, the lectures are optional. Graduation is also optional."

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Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

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The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving..

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At commencement you wear your square-shaped mortarboards. My hope is that from time to time you will let your minds be bold, and wear sombreros.

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The fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist...

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Funny Graduation Quotes

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