Funny Positive Quotes

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Funny Positive Quotes

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh � at yourself.

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You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

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You're only as good as your last haircut.

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Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

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I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early

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listen,smile,agree and then do whatever you were gonna do any way..

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The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for

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By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity - another man's, I mean

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Life isn't a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, latte in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming �Woohoo WHAT A RIDE'!

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If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else

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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

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Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

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I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

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Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

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Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.

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Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

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Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.

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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

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A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.

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The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

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When anybody laughs he has no mind no thought no problem no suffering.

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Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese.

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If you don't go out on the limb how are you going to get the good apple?

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If you have a shitty job, you probably shouldn't lick your fingers at lunch time.

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If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

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George washington said "We would have a black president when pigs fly!"... well, swine flu.

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A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

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Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.

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It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous.

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Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.

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Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive it isn't.

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Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

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Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.

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The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time.

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My Mama always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

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My life has been filled with terrible misfortune, most of which never happened.

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Some people develop a wish bone where their back bone should be.

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Hope is the dream of the waking man.

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Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.

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We don't stop playing because we grow old we grow old because we stop playing.

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Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.

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Hold on boss, I'm gonna make you famous.

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You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.

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Think like a man of action, and act like a man of thought.

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My life has been filled with terrible misfortune. most of which never happened.

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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

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Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

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The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

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The most important thing is not to stop questioning.

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I cannot afford to waste my time making money.

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The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.

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Seven days without laughter make one weak.

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Success comes in cans, failure in can'ts.

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The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.

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I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

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"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

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Funny Positive Quotes

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